What are you looking for?

What are you looking for?

Remember that time when you bought the perfect outfit for that special night? You searched throughout every store until you found the clothing that fit your personality and looked perfect. You recognized it as worthy and bought it. When the special day came, you wore the outfit with pride. Compliments surrounded you and you felt beautiful.

What ever happened to that outfit? Do you still wear it and feel the same way? Does it still turn heads? I know that if I were to go back in time and find the outfit that comes to mind, it would barely fit me and surely would not turn heads the way it did back then.

Why is it that something that seemed so significant years ago is now useless? Why is it that you searched for the perfect outfit? Fought for the look? Bought it full price? What made an outfit seem so appealing?

As a woman in America, I can easily look at my life and be humbled. Time after time, I searched everywhere to find the look that I was going for. I looked and looked until I found exactly what I wanted. The outfit was worn once, put in the closet and given away just a few weeks later. I am guilty of spending time seeking for something that quickly lost value in my sight.

Before I knew the LORD, my time was spent shopping and shopping. Every week, I had a desire to find an outfit to make myself look better. It would work, for that day. I would look super adorable and everyone around me would tell me so.

Then, I met God. He showed me that I had value and that it was not my appearance. Just a few weeks after meeting Him, He woke me up in the middle of the night and asked me to clean out my closet. This request seemed Huge, but worth it. It was an early hour in the morning and I was tired, but I did what He said.

As I picked through clothing, accessories and swimsuits, I soon realized that I was far from modest. My appearance was far from beautiful. All of the compliments I had previously received because of what I wore suddenly seemed worthless.

Ashamed, I continued cleaning out. Every dress was five inches shorter than it should have been, every pair of shorts showed more skin than necessary, my swimsuits were more like undergarments, and my shirts were short and low-cut. My wardrobe that once brought me attention, now humbled me. How had I been fooled so easily? What I had been wearing was not appealing at all. Maybe to the worldly eye, I had appeared like them which made me pretty to them. But, in God’s eyes, I was really just giving away what He had given me.

Clothes suddenly seemed worthless. The hundreds (not exaggerating) of items that I got rid of that day made me realize how little earthly possessions meant, clothes especially. I remember looking in my closet before and having tons of things to choose from. After cleaning up, I had four main outfits and a few extra things for running.

All I wanted was to glorify God through my dress, even if that meant wearing the same thing every day. And I did. Sometimes, I wore the same thing days in a row. After a while, I started shopping for mommy clothes. Clothes that were older women attracted me. So, for a while I wore them.

Over the summer, I worked as a lifeguard at Camp Baldwin. Every day I wore super long shorts, my work tank top or t-shirt and sandals. Throughout the entire summer, I wore a total of ten outfits. This story would sound crazy if you knew me before this happened; God gave me value and allowed me to walk in it distraction free.

When school started in the fall, my wardrobe changed a little but not much. Makeup was no longer a priority because I had gone the entire summer without it (seriously, my makeup bag was packed away). To the world, it was if I did not care what I looked like. This was true.

My concern was/is for my Father and His Kingdom. I found out that the more time spent with Him in the morning, the more I have to offer to the world during the day. I found out that the less time spent on makeup and finding that “perfect outfit”, the more time I had to read the Word of God. There is something mysterious about the Word of God. It truly is a mystery. He is willing to reveal the mystery to those who seek, He is.

This previous break, I spent time very sick with the flu. I could barely open my eyes because the light caused much pain, my throat hurt just breathing, there were pains in every area of my body, and I had a fever of 102. While pulled down and sick, the Lord taught me so much. He brought me to a place where I recognized Him as my Beloved. He became the One that promised to stick with me in sickness and in health, the One that would not separate from me in death. He gave me value. He took the time to spend with me, to remind me that I was beautiful in His sight. Beautiful just laying there without makeup, baggy clothes on and barely able to move. He sees past the visible, into a realm that is more real. He sees me, His daughter and loved one, as beautiful.

During my time away from school, He also brought me back to the day that He asked me to clean out my closet. He impressed upon my heart that getting dressed up, caring for my appearance and enjoying being physically attractive did not offend Him. He allowed me to see that He was always with me and for me. He showed me that His eyes were focused on my heart, not my looks. As long as I was not using my dress as a tool of manipulation, He was okay with me getting ready for the day and loving it.

Getting back into it was so much fun. I would sing to Him and thank Him for freedom as I put mascara on. I would ask Him to pick out my outfits and guide me in purity. I still do.

This past year has been an adventure. Seeing what really matters and letting go of what doesn’t has changed my life. I am forever convinced that seeking God is far more beneficial than seeking anything else. And I am not ashamed to tell all the world that GOD IS GREATER than anything else that can be desired.

He gives you purpose and hope. Through His Son we are able to meet with Him. Seeking God and spending time with Him is the most amazing gift. I have found no greater love than the love of God. He is the only one that is solid; He is my Rock.

Seek Him with me. He will give you the desires of your heart. He will teach you things that men cannot teach. He will purify you and show you true beauty. He will bless your heart as you praise His Holy name. He is worthy.

If you are in desperate need for something to seek, something that is of worth, seek YHWH! He is worthy. He is all you need. There is always more. When seeking Him, there is always more to find. Seek Him & you will find what you are looking for.

YHWH, the Living God, is all that you are looking for. He is all that you need.