Last night was awesome! After VBS set-up & dinner with the youth at Sonic... Chloe, Mariah and I went to Ashley's house (that's Robs wife)... we had planned on watching a movie, but ended up talking instead. For some reason, I just started telling them random facts about myself... things that most people don't know... like I sleep with a teddy bear named Philippine... and I have six piercings... Well, you can imagine how one story turned into a bunch of stories... It was funny :) The whole time we laughed & I am pretty sure they were shocked at how much I enjoyed joking... for the most part, I keep to myself & seem quiet.. but the truth is, on the inside I am always telling a joke or two or three :) I love laughter & being silly. So, the night went on and they laughed and laughed... THEN, Chloe told us a story... one that you guys may or may not believe... It is actually going to take a lot out of me to write this in my blog... but it is a true story.. so why not... I almost cried... Ok, here goes... Chloe used to have a cat and she wanted kittens... well every time her cat would get pregnant and have kittens, her next door neighbors dog would come over and kill the kittens.. so one day, her cat had kittens and the neighbors dog came over and ate the cats head off... Chloe was upset & got out a gun and killed the dog. She put the dog in a bag & brought it next door to her neighbors & asked if they would like her to throw it in the woods for them... ---yeah that happened--- then Chloe got a dog.. (uhoh right?) and her dog went on a little adventure into her neighbors yard & decided to eat up their newspaper (i think) and her neighbor shot her dog... put it in a trash bag... brought it to her house in the bag and asked if she wanted them to throw it in the woods for her... that they had killed it. Can you believe this? I can't... this is a true story... This is the kind of stuff that goes down in Thomasville... my (new) home!!! Wow! Shocked. Are you? Sorry, this is a nasty story and I don't normally write anything like this... but it for real happened & I had to tell someone...
... on a more serious & appropriate note...
Today I was able to speak with a woman that the Lord placed in my life as a spiritual mother. In the beginning of my walk with God, I would talk with her once a day for advice and guidance in the normal day-to-day activities. As time went on, I stopped communicating with her as much. It was not an act of rebellion, just a desperate cry for truth. I only wanted to hear God, because I felt as though I could not trust people (don't worry, God changed my heart).
God was faithful and spoke to me. He taught me and led me in righteousness for a little under a year. Almost everyday, I would ask Him for spiritual authority. I knew the importance of submitting to someone older and wiser.
As a young adult, it is challenging living in this world... A young Christian adult without parental guidance is really challenging. But, thankfully God brought me through so many tough times and made me stronger in myself and in Him.
So, today I kept thinking about Ms Barbara. She is my spiritual mother. I called her and told her everything that had happened within the last four months. If you know me, you know a lot has happened.
The advice that she spoke over me was beautiful. She told me that my heart was in need of healing. If I kept running this race without taking time to myself to heal, I could be in danger of going through the same thing again. Ms Barbara said that even though I may not realize it, I need to be completely healed spiritually and emotionally. This will keep me far from feeling unworthy, unwanted, rejected and alone.
She also said that I need to get back to understanding who I am in Christ. My identity in Him is everything. This is truth. Who I am in Christ Jesus, is who I am... I am nothing without Him. It is in Him that I am identified. When living in this sinful world, it is crucial to remember that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
No matter who lies to us, comes against us, fails to understand us... there is ONE who is wiling to take us in and love us. ONE who always loves us... even when we fail to hear Him or see Him. God is with us. It is in Him alone that we are satisfied. He is our satisfaction. He is our everything.
Another thing that Ms Barbara told me to do today was to pray for this specific friend.. someone who has been on my heart for a while now.. she told me that I needed to pray that God would make a way for him to hear clearly His will; that He would have clarity and that he would walk in obedience. I tell you what, it is a real faith tester when you have to let go of your control & say I TRUST YOU to bring clarity to my friend... I trust you to create in him an obedient spirit... because I always try to fix things... I always want to make peace with all people, especially the one's I love the most... and when they are frustrated because of my actions, I just want to UNfrustrate them... (made that word up) and it doesn't happen... The only choice I have is to give it all to God... to let go completely & believe that God is going to speak to my friend & remind him of truth.
I mess up. Chynna Lee is not perfect. But, my Savior is.. and I believe that if I put my trust in Him, He will be my victory in the end! I am not afraid of not knowing the future... instead, I am EXCITED to see how God is going to work this out :) Because of my failures, the situation I am talking about is going to need a miracle to work out....
--Today was nice. Just talking with Ms Barbara & just getting advice from Rob before VBS... being with the students was awesome! I love Mariah, Chloe and Jacobs!! :) ... and VBS was fun.. being a roady was interesting... fun :) 2nd graders are hilarious! --
Ups, that story was really bad...I can't imagine someone doing that here in Romania...all news channels and newspapers would speak about it (LOL) and I think the people involved would have to pay a fine.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to read that you had a great day ;) God always takes care of His family ^_^